Joking away bad times _ Indian flavour

1. Black Mondays used to be a once-in-a-lifetime event. Now they are coming along more regularly than Delhi Metro trains
2. Respected Sensex Sir passed away on October 10, 2008, after not keeping well for nine months. The last rituals would be conducted at Lehman Brothers' place
3. Assets are written on the left and liabilities on the right side. But, there is nothing left on the right and nothing is right on the left.
4. Raj Thackeray is ready to allow non-Mumbaikars to stay in the city, but it would be mandatory for them to invest in the stock market.
5. Bankrupt allowed to return to their native place without ticket, says Railway Minister Lalu Prasad
6. Blockbuster Saare Zameen Par (Everyone bites the dust) enters into 10th straight month at BSE and NSE multiplexes.
7. When the Sensex was at 21,000, the stock of a single real estate company was ruling close to Rs 1,500. Today, you can get entire sector for the same price and, with Lehman Brothers having invested in the sector, further bargain is expected
8. Markets are set to regain 20,000 mark... (but only if) Sensex, Nikkei and Hang Seng are put together at 5,000 points each, NYSE Composite at 1,000 points, Dow Jones Industrial Average at 3,500 and Nasdaq at 500 points.
9. All sports stadiums in the USA currently named for banks, insurance companies, or financial institutions will have to be renamed 'Federal Reserve Park.
10. Markets are the places where two types of people meet up in the morning -- those with experience and those with money. Towards the end of the day, they exchange their assets and go home
11. A bull market is a phase when an investor mistakes himself for a financial genius and a bear market is a period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelery and the husband shoots himself on the trading floor
12. There used to be bulls and bears in the market, now every one is a plain old ass
13. P/E ratio is the percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing
14. The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried, because i am a investor baby
15. October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to invest in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February
16. How many stockbrokers does it take to change a light bulb? Answer is two -- One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes